Today I feel like a 'sorted' mum.

Today I became one of those mum I aspire to be. Just for one day. Everything went well today, I woke up with my usual negative view on the day but things worked out well. My make up seemed to sit just right on my face and my hair did as it was told, I wore comfy clothes but didn't feel disgusting for once.

I took the child swimming, the pool we went to is usually heaving with severely unattractive dads covered in blubber and hair and children with serious snot issues. I used to go to this pool with my brothers as a kid and frequently found a big piece of poo floating around, but not today... today the world decided that I was going to shine as a mum and bond with my child. We made amazing progress chucking this weird rubbery crocodile around, Harry went in up to his nose to rescue it and we did a lot of paddling around on a body board rescuing 'Norman Price' - the name he gave to a half chewed teddybear float. We then went for an ice cream and came home to make home made pizza with spinach and mushrooms on, yes, yes he ate real life actual vegetables and enjoyed them.

Bed time? well thanks to my new best Spotify friend, Harry went to sleep to the sounds of waves which filled his room with a calm cheap spa like ambience that relaxed him instantly (oh and by the way he even tidied up all his toys before we went upstairs) he tried to get out of bed a few times but soon couldn't really be arsed and went to sleep, we had amazing cuddles and I finally felt like we were buddies again.

I feel invincible.

Like the best mum in the world.

I even poured my beer down the sink and replaced it with a glass of milk.

So fuck you universe, today it's me thats winning, not you. I am mum of the year, I fed my child spinach!!!!

(continues to eat prawns straight from the packet and dip them into sea food sauce... straight from the jar)